Say it With Silver
by Shelby Erin
Summary: Buffy begs Spike to help plan Christmas Dinner.


Author: Shelby  
Title: Say it with Silver  
Rating: R for language  
Spoilers: I set Christmas to be right after Buffy and Spike's one night stand but before Willow's addiction hurt anyone. *Giggle* so I twisted the Buffyverse for my own plot.  
Dedication: To my Secret Spike Jamie, and to Angeline who convinced me it was OK to post.  
Description: Spike and Buffy plan Christmas. Its cute, fluffy I think.  
  
  
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~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
  
Buffy stood in kitchen pouring hot sauce mixture over a plate of steaming Buffalo wings. Dawn entered the kitchen just in time to hear her sister curse loudly at herself.   
  
"Shit!"   
  
"What's wrong?"   
  
"Huh? Oh nothing just burned my finger on this pot." Buffy tossed the pot in the sink, wrapped up the plate in foil and headed for the door.   
  
A confused look crossed Dawn's face. "Where are you going with those? I thought we were going to do the whole Christmas tree, lights, egg nog thing tonight?"   
  
Buffy smiled ashamedly. "I'll be back in time. Its just Spike and I had this big fight a few nights ago and I'm feeling kind of guilty about it."   
  
Dawn crossed her arms and leaned on the doorway. "I thought he was always the one that made amends when you throw one of your fits."   
  
" I do not throw fits! Do I?"   
  
Dawn nodded with annoyance. "Yes, all the time. You treat him like he's dirt."   
  
" I do don't I?" `She reflected thoughtfully for a moment. "Ok so he's the one that usually comes to me but I…I think I hurt his feelings and don't ask me if I care because I'm not sure about what I'm doing."   
  
Dawn gave her sister a hug. "Whatever you decide to do I'll be right there with ya. It would be kind of neat to have him hanging around a lot more. Even if he cheats at Monopoly."   
  
Buffy rolled her eyes and grabbed up the plate of wings. "I'll be back before it gets too late to do the tree thing."   
  
Buffy's high-heeled boots stopped abruptly walking at the entrance to the cemetery. Simultaneously the leaves under her feet stopped crunching as she chewed her lower lip nervously. "He's going to tell me to leave. Why should I care?" Buffy nervously shifted the cooling plate between her hands as she spoke to herself. "I can ask Spike to help with the tree and all that. I can. He would say yes. He always says yes to me. There would be no reason for him to say no. Then we can go back to normal."   
  
~~"Sorry, that jacket has been out of style for a long time now. Don't you vampire's ever have any fashion sense?" Buffy delivered a right heel to the vampire's chest that sent him flying backwards into a large older gravestone.   
  
The vampire quickly sprang to his feet and growled at her.   
  
"Oh so you're one of those. Me vampire me drink blood."   
  
The taunting provoked the vampire to lunge for the Slayer's feet catching her unaware until she was flat on her back staring up at his razor sharp teeth. Buffy arched her back ready to throw him off and suddenly she felt the weight of her attacker lifted off her body.   
  
"Go mess with someone your own size ya big looser!"   
  
Dust flew everywhere as the vamp dusted into thin air. Behind the dust stood Spike, grinning and proud as he offered her a hand to get up. She declined, standing on her own.   
  
"I was fine. I didn't need your help Spike. Don't you have something else to do besides follow me around all the time?" Buffy started walking away from him.   
  
Spike followed her effortlessly falling into step with her smaller ones. "Is thank you some part of your vocabulary that does not exist Slayer? I was helping you, not him. What is your malfunction lately? I thought we grew closer. We shared a night of passion and desire. You can't just ignore that ducks."   
  
Buffy stopped walking turned sharply on her heel and punched him square in the nose. "I don't need your help Spike. Not now, not ever. And that…that thing that happened between us was just a mistake and I've learned my lesson."   
  
Spike rubbed his jaw looking ever so amused. *Little twig can't keep her hands off me. *   
  
"You know the last time you said you didn't need me you came crawling back to my place asking me to help your mum and sis. So I'm not so sure that this time won't be any different than the last time Slayer." His look had been sombre until he saw there was no slighted response to those words. A sultry look flashed in his eyes that made Buffy's temperature rise higher than she wanted it to. Mental images of their night together flooded her senses and she felt herself become a little weak.   
  
"Is there a lesson we left out of our tryst that you want me to teach you Slayer? That's what your real dilemma is. You want me so bad you can taste it. Problem is your so afraid of what your little super friends are going to think about you, you won't admit it. How about it Slayer? Did ya tell em' the Big Bad made you scream?" Fire raged in her eyes with a punch that landed him on his ass this time.   
  
*I'm not ready to admit how I feel. Stop it! Just stop it! I was dead for so long, now I'm back and all of you want me to just jump back into the swing of things like I was never gone. It's not that easy because I'm not going to make it that easy. If I make it that easy I'm going to feel again. *  
  
Now he was pissed. He'd taken enough of her for one night.   
  
"Spike I…"  
  
The vampire leapt up quickly to come nose to nose with her. Steadily his voice rose. "No Buffy. I'm not listening to any of that rot you think you need to say. I'm sick of this game you play. Buffy's little game, play the game kiddies, watch the rules change to make it fair for Buffy and none else! You know I'm a bloody fool! Mooning over you, loving you just so you can spit on me. Well fuck you. I'm done. There are plenty other women in this town that would love to have a go with me. Seeing as you aren't one of them, sod off. I'm through with you."   
  
Tears sprung up behind her eyes as she watched him saunter away angrily, while her head continued to fight with her heart.   
  
*I don't care about him. I don't care! He makes me feel alive though, I don't want to now have him around. He's a killer hiding behind bars. Keep telling yourself that Buffy. Maybe if you think it long enough it'll come true *.  
  
A gust of wind blew a lock of her golden hair in front of her eyes long enough so she missed seeing him turn the corner. "What have I done?" She sobbed. ~~  
  
Buffy stared down at the plate of wings breathing in a heavy sigh. "What if he won't say yes? Well I could say it's for Dawn. He'd do anything for Dawn."   
  
Buffy looked up at the December sun with fierce determination. "That's it, I'm going to ask him. If he says no then I'll just have to hire someone."   
  
Finally arriving at the crypt Buffy paused outside the door before she started to pace back and forth. "It's almost time for Passions. I know he'll be up. As long as he's not in a cranky mood I should be fine. Remember Buffy this is for Dawn."   
  
Finally confidant that she could go in and talk to the blonde vampire she pushed the door open slowly.   
  
"Spike? You awake yet?" Buffy walked in and noticed a small Charlie Brown like Christmas tree in one corner. Very few ornaments hung on its thin branches, however those looked fragile and antique. Buffy observed the pile of gifts under this poor excuse for a tree. Curiosity got the best of her as she crossed the room to shake a few of the sparkly boxes. Just as she picked up a large red one Spike leaned in the doorway, a slight grin on his face and a box of smokes in his hand.   
  
"See anything you like pet?"   
  
Abruptly Buffy dropped the box and stood even quicker. "Spike I was just uh..."   
  
"Snooping?" He pointed out while walking to his TV.   
  
Buffy felt like a kid caught unwrapping the gifts before Christmas came. So she stood there trying to look defiant with her hands on her hips. Spike glanced back at her and reminded himself that she was not here for another shag. He'd best get those thoughts out of his head at least until she left.   
  
"I was not snooping I was..." Speechless Buffy glanced back at the little tree and snorted. "Your tree is..."   
  
"Pathetic? Save it Slayer, I know." Spike slumped in his favorite chair and continued to stare at her with piercing blue eyes. "I do like a touch of humanity from time to time. You poor sods do have a knack for decor."   
  
*Oh there he goes with the insults again. This is not going to work. Leave now, go home and just do it yourself.* Her mind was talking but her feet were staying firmly put much to her dismay.   
  
"Yea well I didn't come here to talk trees. I have a favour to ask." Buffy downcast her eyes briefly enough to miss the smirk that covered his face. As quick as he put on the smirk it was replaced by a fake scowl.   
  
"Ohh right, because you aren't here to apologize. That's beneath a person such as you. What is it this time Slayer?" He took a long drag of his cigarette before he spoke. "Little Bit pissed off at you again? Or you just have an itch you can't scratch?"   
  
The cold look Spike gave her chilled her right to the core. He was still angry and not going to make this easy. Buffy swallowed hard and mentally asked Joyce to help her out. "I made you these in hopes that…."   
  
"I'd forget what a bitch you were the other night. Sorry not likely pet. I'm not one to forget quickly. Am I warm yet?"   
  
"Forget it. I'm leaving. This was a mistake."   
  
Spike got out of his chair to stand beside her. "But you've got none else to ask. I know. Tell me Buffy, what's so important you played merry little house maker just for me?" Spike glanced down at the plate of wings and gave her a cold smile.   
  
Buffy spit out her request in one long sentence.   
  
"Ineedyoutohelpmeplanchristmasputupthelightsandtreeandcookandshopforpresents."   
  
Spike ground out the last of his cigarette under his boot and laughed. "You want me to go shopping? For presents?" He paced in front of her now. "And I thought I heard you mention cooking? What are you trying to do Slayer? Domesticate me after one night of passion and desire that you don't even want to talk about? Are you off your bird?" His scared eyebrow was cocked in question as she cut him off.   
  
*I'm having a hard enough time not thinking about you and me…. and the way your lips felt on my... Focus Buffy focus! *  
  
"No… no Spike it's not like that. I just have never done this alone before."   
  
She played nervously with her hands as she spoke. "Mom always took care of things for us. Now I have to do it and I'm not sure if I can do it alone."   
  
His eyes changed from being slightly amused to considerate. He crumbled. The tough exterior he was trying to hold up in order to protect his heart from her melted with one look of her big doe eyes.   
  
*I'm here now luv. Don't you worry you're pretty little blonde head. Spike's going to take care of it all just for you. Oh bloody hell, I fell under her spell again.*   
  
Buffy continued to ramble on much to Spike's delight. They had spent two too many days apart for his liking. It was wonderful to have her here beside him again. The empty feeling he was experiencing was dissipating rapidly.   
  
"…And this is Dawn's first Christmas without mom. I want it to be special for her. Mom always made..."   
  
Spike put a finger to her lip. "This is your first Christmas without Joyce as well pet."   
  
The eye contact Spike made with Buffy caused her knees to go weak, her pulse to race and her eyes to sparkle.   
  
"I'll help you Buffy. All you had to do is ask."   
  
Buffy gave him a shy smile. "I just did."   
  
Spike snaked a loose arm around her shoulders and smiled down at her. "We can do this. First lets make a list. Then we'll check it twice. I'm going to need a list from Dawnie asking her what she wants, we should plan dinner ahead of time..."   
  
Buffy now raised her brow at him.   
  
"Hey, I used to plan parties for Dru all the time. I know what I'm doing. Trust me."   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
"All of you have a nice holiday weekend. Dawn Summers please see me after class."   
  
"Ohh someone is in trouble." Janice teased.   
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Just what I need before Christmas break."   
  
Mr. Thompson handed Dawn a paper that read 'F makeup test' needed. The other students filed out of class quickly while Dawn stood there being nervous.   
  
* I so do not need this right now *   
  
"Ms. Summers we need to discuss why your grades are so poor lately. You have been one of my best students. Is there something we need to talk about?" *Well my mom is dead, my dad is nowhere to be found, its almost Christmas and my sister is a Vampire Slayer. Not to mention that the first guy I've ever kissed was a vampire. Giles is gone, Tara is mad at Willow. Oh and I have one monster of a zit starting on my nose...*  
  
"No I'm fine. I just forgot to study. "  
  
Mr. Thompson looked at her skeptically as he sat back down in his chair and began shuffling papers into a briefcase. "Well there will be a makeup test when you come back from holiday. Be sure you study while you're on holiday vacation. I don't think I need to remind you what happens if your grades drop too badly?"   
  
Dawn nodded. " I know what will happen. Honest I'll study this weekend. Just call me study gal."   
  
The teacher smiled as she left. Dawn was rolling her eyes as she walked down the hall. *There is no way I'm going to study on my vacation time *  
  
Dawn smiled at the sight of Spike's motorcycle in the driveway. She'd noticed that even if there was only one day when Spike and Buffy didn't talk, Buffy was miserable. "I guess those buffalo wings worked on him. Poor guy has no idea what he's in for eating her cooking."   
  
"Buffy I'm home." She called from the doorway. *No Buffy, no Spike and pine needles all over the floor? *   
  
Dawn followed the tattle trail of needles to a living room that was littered with boxes full of Christmas decor. Dawn looked curiously over at the tree and the pair of slender legs that were under it. Accompanied by a pair of large pale hands holding said tree still.   
  
"Spike hold it still! I can't get it in of you don't hold still."   
  
"Well bloody hell Buffy, how hard is it?"   
  
"It's not hard that's the problem. You're making it hard."   
  
"You're the one making it hard Slayer! I don't have any control over how tight the thing has to be!"   
  
"Well the tighter it is the better of we'll be, it won't fall out that way."   
  
Buffy growled a slew of obscenities at him right before Dawn coughed and giggled which shocked Buffy and Spike causing Spike to drop the tree forward to reveal a very irritated Buffy at his feet who was holding a now empty tree stand. For her sister though she managed a smile before smacking Spike hard in the leg.   
  
"OW! What the hell was that for?"   
  
Buffy ignored Spike who was now rubbing his sore leg. "Hey Dawn how was school?"   
  
A bright smile covered the teens face. "It was great. I uh have to go do some studying though. Are you two going to be OK? I mean irritated Slayer with a vampire near a very woodsy tree that could splinter in to little bitty stakes?"   
  
Spike huffed while he grabbed up the fallen tree. "Tell ya what bit, it would be better than putting up with her yammering all day long. You have no idea how long it takes her to decide on a bloody tree that's just going to die in a few days anyway."   
  
Buffy glared at him. "Just hold this very undead tree still so I can make the tree stand tight."   
  
Buffy disappeared from Dawn's sight. "It's already dead Buffy, they chopped off its roots." Spike winked and Dawn to muffled a giggle while she went upstairs. The night went smoothly from there on. Buffy, Dawn and Spike worked side by side putting up the house decorations and decorating the tree. Of course when it came time for the top of the tree Spike could not resist teasing.   
  
"Can we stick the tree up Angels ass?"   
  
Buffy tossed the star at him, hitting him soundly in the chest. "Spike, shut up."   
  
Spike shrugged. "Just saying."   
  
The trio only stopped briefly for hot chocolate and pizza that Dawn insisted on having.   
  
"Have you tried Buffy's cooking? I'd rather eat pickles and peanut butter sandwiches." She whispered to Spike while Buffy was calling it in.   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
"Hey Buddy its Spike. Did I get any calls today? Right then. I'll be over. Have a bottle ready for me alright mate?" Spike hung up the phone and quietly joined Buffy and Dawn in the living room.   
  
The two sisters stared in awe, completely oblivious to his presence. "It turned out nice didn't it Dawn?"   
  
Dawn laughed. "Thanks to Spike. I can not believe you conned him into doing all this."   
  
Buffy stared ahead at the tree. "I didn't con him, I asked him and he said yes. That's all."   
  
"Sure. So when are you guys going to just admit you like each other? Or rather you admit that you like him. We all know how Spike feels." Dawn crossed her arms with a demanding look in her eyes.   
  
Buffy's face blushed a deed shade of scarlet while she stammered on her words. "Dawn it's not like that between Spike and I. We are...are...just mortal enemies that happen to get along."   
  
"You mean mortal enemies that happen to be in love with each other?" Dawn smirked at a speechless Buffy.   
  
"Dawn you are so wrong its not funny. Spike is…well he's…"   
  
Spike interrupted her then. * I know what she was going to say. Spike is a vampire and Spike is a pig. Angel's my dream man. Kissy kissy bullshit. Why do I love this woman so much? *   
  
"Leaving. I have some things to do tonight. Catch ya later Slayer, Little Bit." He nodded in their direction as he opened the front door.   
  
Buffy gave him a delectable pout and before she knew it she was holding onto the sleeve of his duster. "Why? I thought you were going to stay and play Monopoly with us. I'll even let you be the car."   
  
Spike glanced down at her hand as though it was scalding his precious coat.   
  
Quickly Buffy released her hand and shoved it tightly into the back pocket of her Levis. "Sorry."   
  
"I'll leave you too alone now." Dawn taunted before darting up the stairs.   
  
Buffy found anywhere to look but at Spike. "Kids, they say the silliest things don't they?"   
  
Spike shrugged. "I got to go luv. I've got an unlife ya know. Got things to do."   
  
Spike walked out on to the porch but was stopped at the base of the steps by a frantic Buffy. "That's it, you're just leaving? It's only ten. Its early."   
  
"And your point would be what exactly?"   
  
Buffy put her hands on her hips again and looked agitated. "You're going to leave me here alone so you can play kitten poker aren't you?"   
  
His eyes conveyed annoyance. "Look there are two weeks before Christmas. We have plenty of time to do all those things you insist we have to do."   
  
Thinking quickly Buffy pointed up at the house. "The roof."   
  
"What?"   
  
"The roof, mom always had lights on the roof. We have to do that tonight yet."   
  
Spike leaned over to her ear, sending delicious vibrations all over her body. "If I didn't know any better Slayer, I'd think you were trying to keep me here."   
  
*Butterflies...Spike's making me Jell-O knees again. Kiss him. Just kiss him. No don't. Yes kiss him! *  
  
"No it's not that. I just thought if we did that tonight then..."   
  
Spike cut her off with his lips. Snaking his arm around her waist to pull their bodies closer. Buffy felt her tiny form go limp against his, her arms wrapped around the back of his neck, her fingers inter locked to hold fast to him. Both bodies pressed more intimately against each other as the kiss went on. Buffy felt Spike's strong hands against the small of her back as he moved his lips slowly from hers to torture her neck with tiny kisses. He lingered bitterly over the tiny puncture marks left by his sire.   
  
* She's mine now, one-way or another she's going admit she loves me. *  
  
Buffy clung to him, moaning his name over and over until Spike stopped his swift assault to gaze deep in to her eyes. Although he didn't need to breathe he was breathing rather heavily. "I have to go."   
  
Buffy clung dependently to his arms trying to search deeper in his eyes.   
  
"No. No you don't."   
  
"Yes I do. Don't ask me to stay if you don't want me for more than one night pet." Spike noticed Willow walking up the sidewalk out of the corner of his eye. "I'd be with you always, believe that Buffy."   
  
Spike placed a soft kiss on her cheek before he leapt the porch rail and headed off to Willy's.   
  
Buffy absently rubbed her arms with her shaking hands thinking that the faster she rubbed the sooner the goose bumps would go away. "Hey Will what's up?"   
  
Willow smiled. "Well obviously now Spike is. What was all that I just saw?"   
  
"You saw all that? Of course you did or you wouldn't be asking me this now." Buffy slumped on the wicker sofa. "What am I doing Willow? I can't love him. I just can't."   
  
Willow sat beside her. "Why not Buffy? I mean not that I think it's a great idea to date a vampire. Let alone one who's murdered hundreds of people. He's even attempted to bite me...."   
  
Willow stopped to notice Buffy rolling her eyes at her. "That's not going to help things right now."   
  
"Oh right, ok so we skip the whole part about Spike's past and jump to now. Buffy he's been there for us. Sure I mean I didn't warm up to him right away but hey, he kind of grows on ya. And Dawn likes him a lot. He's always here. He was here for Dawn all summer while you were well while you were away."   
  
Silence made its way between the two girls. Buffy sighed. "Willow I have something I wanted to tell you about Spike and I."   
  
"Oh? Is this a good something or a bad something?" Buffy suddenly felt guilty about her happiness when Willow and Tara were still at odds.   
  
" It's just that we put up the tree tonight together without fighting. I had a good time. That's all."   
  
*I can't tell her I slept with Spike. I just can't. *   
  
Willow nodded her head suspiciously. "Well that's a start. Plus it's nice to be in the holiday spirit. Hey it's freezing out here. Wanna go inside?"   
  
"Yea it is getting cold." Buffy said quietly.   
  
Willow put a hand on Buffy's shoulder. "You know Buffy you can love Angel as long as you want to and never have him. Or you can admit what you feel for Spike, tell him how you feel and live as happy as you can for as long as you can."   
  
Willow went ahead of Buffy in the house and up the stairs before Buffy could argue.   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
The next afternoon Xander and Anya popped in out of the blue. "Knock, knock we're back and we brought presents."   
  
Xander's strong loud voice travelled all the way through the Summer's home. Buffy came out of the kitchen wiping her hands dry on a towel.   
  
"So soon? I thought you were going to stay at least a week?"   
  
Anya popped out from behind Xander holding a stack of boxes. "We were. But I found all the things I wanted for the shop and got our Christmas shopping done as well. So where do you want these?"   
  
"Living room."   
  
Anya found her way to place the gifts under the tree right beside Xander's pile.   
  
"We thought we could just drop these off now cause we are all coming here for Christmas anyhow right Buffy?" Anya asked.   
  
"Uh yea. We're having it here." Buffy stood there looking off in her own dimension.   
  
Xander wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. "What's wrong with the Buffster?"   
  
"Oh nothing. I'm fine." She shook her head. "You guys want some soup? I made New England Clam chowder."   
  
Dawn bounced down the stairs just then. "Me!! I want some. Wait, is it out of a can or are you experimenting again?"   
  
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Anya? Xander? Would you like to stay for some soup?"   
  
The couple held hands and walked to the door. "Na we ate. Anyhow we just wanted to stop and drop off the gifts so we didn't have to tote them around Christmas morning." Xander explained.   
  
Anya waved at the sisters. "Bye. I have to go open shop now and make some sales. Shops been closed for 4 days now. That's a lot of money lost."   
  
Dawn giggled and waved. "Bye. See you later. "   
  
Buffy chimed in. "Yea call us later."   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
Spike stared blankly at the TV screen. Buffy invited him over and was now being as quiet as a mouse. Silence was usually one of his strong points. Usually.   
  
"So you want to talk?"   
  
Glancing over to observe her he noticed she was flipping through a TV Guide. Absently she answered him. "Talk about what? Hollywood Squares is on channel 27. Want to watch that? Oh look, Elmo is a guest tonight."   
  
"What do you mean about what? That kiss I gave you two nights ago that's what. What did you invite me over here for if not to talk?"   
  
Buffy flopped the book on the coffee table. "I knew what you were talking about. I was trying to skip it."   
  
Spike groaned. "Sure pass it over like it was nothing. You sure didn't think it was nothing while you were moaning my name and clutching on my arms as if you'd die if you let go."   
  
"Look Spike I..."   
  
Dawn came running in the room just then, waving a piece of paper around madly.   
  
"Buffy, I got my Christmas list done. Oh hi Spike." Dawn crashed between the two on the couch and smiled. "Was I interrupting anything?"   
  
"No Bit, as usual you didn't interrupt anything. God I wish you would though." Spike stomped off to the kitchen.   
  
Dawn glared accusingly at Buffy who had stuck her nose back inside the TV guide. "What did you do to Spike this time?"   
  
The phone could be heard ringing in the distance.   
  
"I didn't do anything to him." Buffy replied without looking up.   
  
Spike hollered from the kitchen. "Dawn! Phone! It's a boy!"   
  
"Spike!"   
  
Dawn came bounding in the kitchen to see the vampire grinning mischievously from ear to ear. "Just kidding it's a girl."   
  
Dawn smacked him playfully on the arm as he left the kitchen.   
  
"There is no way I can get her everything on this list Spike. It's impossible. Do you know how much those CD thingies cost?"   
  
Spike sat on the couch and started flipping through the channels again. "So why don't you just get her the one thing she really wants and a bunch of little things. You know the Bit is going to understand."   
  
Buffy tossed the notepad on the coffee table and slumped back on the couch. "I just wanted Christmas to be just as special as it's always been"   
  
Spike turned off the TV and twisted Buffy's body so she was looking at him. Her body shivered electrically at the touch of his gentle hands. "Did you ever think that all she wants is her big sister to be around? Presents and turkeys, they don't mean a damn thing unless you have someone to share them with. You know this Buffy. I know you do. Joyce taught you that. "  
  
"You're right. You're always right Spike."   
  
Spike gloated. "Yea I know. So are we shopping tonight or what?"   
  
With renewed spirit Buffy took his hand and yanked him off the couch. "We go shopping. I'll drive."   
  
"NO! I mean we can take the Desoto."   
  
Buffy took a set of keys out of her purse and waved them around. "Don't be silly. Mom's Jeep is OK to drive now. I'll drive."   
  
A low-key groan came from the vampire who wondered how he was going to be spending his last day on earth.   
  
"Can I go? Janice wants to meet me there?"   
  
Spike wrapped an arm around Dawn's shoulders. "C'mon Bit. Lets go."   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
"This is cute, oh but this is the most. Don't you think I'd look great in this?" Dawn held up a purple scarf around her neck.   
  
Janice giggled. "It looks great. Why don't you get it?"   
  
Frowning Dawn put the scarf back. "I can't. I didn't get my allowance yet."   
  
Janice laughed harder this time. "You still get an allowance?"   
  
"Hey I can't help it. Buffy's trying to make Christmas just the way mom would have. I can't blame her though. I mean it's hard on her too."   
  
Janice huffed and brushed herself past Dawn, pocketing the scarf to her book bag while Dawn was looking at hats. "Lets blow this store. I hear they just put in a new GAP store in the west wing of the mall."   
  
"Great, lets go."   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
Buffy found Spike over in the electronics department looking at the CD's. He had a huge stack in each hand. She found herself laughing at all the packages at his feet. About two hours ago while they stood in Boscov's Spike had handed her an envelope and told her to go away and do the girl things on the list alone. He then disappeared in the direction of the mall.   
  
"What did you find Spike? Looks like you bought the whole mall."   
  
Spike stood affectionately in front of his bags. "None of your business Slayer." He grinned then and held out a Creed CD. "Think the Bit would like this one? Either Creed or Britney Spears. I'm not sure I'm too keen on her. She doesn't wear enough clothes. Might be a bad influence on Dawn."   
  
"Spike I think we are way past the bad influence thing. She hangs out with you in a crypt remember?"   
  
Spike switched the CD to a pile he had on the counter. "Right then, Britney it is. So what kind of naughty things did you get for yourself pet?" Spike raised his eyebrow to accompany the question. Buffy blushed. "Nothing that you're ever going to see on me."   
  
"Right that's because it'll be on the floor."   
  
"You're a pig Spike."   
  
"That's why you love me." Spike countered as he walked away to the register.   
  
*I do love you. I'm just not brave enough to tell you. Yet. *   
  
"Spike that is so far from the truth!" She yelled after him.   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
"Dawn c'mon. No one's going to see us. Just grab it and let's go."   
  
Janice and Dawn stood at the New Release rack at a local Wall Music Store.   
  
"Janice they have those buzzers on the new ones. My sister would be so pissed if she knew I was doing this."   
  
Janice nudged her friend and pointed to the counter. "No silly. Over there are brand new ones that don't have the buzzers on yet. Now wait till the cashier walks away and we'll grab em and run."   
  
Dawn shrugged and casually walked over to the counter and swiped a pile of CD's while a customer kept the cashier distracted a little longer. Janice and Dawn walked calmly from the store until they burst into a fit of giggles outside the mall.   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
Willow sifted through the mail reading off the names as she went. "Buffy Summers, Buffy Summers, Joyce Summers."   
  
*Don't they know she's dead? Why don't they stop sending mail? Gosh how hard that must be on Buffy*  
  
" Dawn Summers, Willow Rosenberg. Oh cool. Mail for me. And it looks like a Christmas card. I wonder if there is money in it."   
  
Willows heart skipped a beat as she read the words over and over.   
  
Willow, just wanted to say hi. Hi. Hope you are all right. OZ.   
  
Tears welled up in her eyes as she felt the sting of her breaking heart. Tara was gone Oz was gone. What was left? Willow stormed up to her bedroom in the Summer's home and buried her face in a pillow crying until there were no more tears and sleep was the only peace she thought she could find.   
  
Laughter erupted from the doorway as Buffy and Spike came in holding all the packages. "Is this it now luv? No more last minute shopping?"   
  
Buffy nodded and bent to pick up the pile of mail that lay scattered on the floor. "Spike look its from Oz. I bet Willow is upset. I should go see her."   
  
Buffy stuffed the pile of letters in Spike's hands to be with her friend.   
  
"What kind of mail does Ms. Summers get? Bank statement; hospital bills; Christmas card from Angel. Well this is just neat." Spike chuckled to himself as he say down on the couch to stare at it. He played with it from one hand to the other, weighing it out. "Figures the ponce didn't send her any money. I wonder what's in there?"   
  
"Willow, Willow its Buffy. Do you need to talk?" Buffy went ahead and opened the door to find her best friend sleeping on her bed, curled up in the blankets so Buffy crept out and went back downstairs.   
  
"Spike what are you doing?"   
  
"You got a Christmas card. But I want to open it first." He held the card high above his head with a teasing smirk playing on his lips.   
  
"Why would you care about a Christmas card? No one sends you any Spike."   
  
Spike stood then and faked a pout. "I know. Angel sent this one though, he's my family too ya know?" Spike tossed the card at her and walked into the kitchen. *I'm not going to sit there and watch her get all swoony over that ponce *  
  
Buffy stared at the card in her trembling hands. Angel. He'd been the furthest thing from her thoughts these past few weeks. After the talk they had when she returned she never thought she'd hear from him again. It was what they agreed was best for now. So why send the card?   
  
*What was it with him and the cryptic? *   
  
Buffy ripped the card open to find a very pretty scene of the Wise men in the manger with baby Jesus, blushing she flipped the card over to see and yes it was a Hallmark. Inside the card there was a baby picture held fast with a tiny sticker as a loose piece of paper that fell to the floor. Quickly scooping up the paper she scanned its words over and over before Spike heard his name called out in an alarming tone  
  
. "Spike come read that to me. Out loud so I know I'm not reading it wrong."   
  
Spike crammed a handful of popcorn in his mouth and shrugged as he sat beside her. "Whathpm do you wanthm me to read?"   
  
"Oh gross Spike! Here, it came in the card. You read it."   
  
"All right I'll read it. It says  
  
...Buffy, I know this is going to sound strange but the little fellow in the picture is mine. Darla and I had a baby together. If stranger things have happened then this is one of them. His name is Conner. Darla is dead by the way. She killed herself to save the baby. Like I said, stranger things. I know we said we were not going to talk much anymore, but this was something I thought you would want me to share. Hope you have a Merry Christmas Buffy, Eternally Yours, Angel   
  
Spike laughed at the last part. "Oh sure eternally yours, what a ponce. We're vampires. Then again after all these years I'm an uncle. I got to go buy the little sprout something." Spike gazed at Buffy who was wringing her hands together inattentively. "Buf? Are you alright?"   
  
"He had a baby. He's moving on with his life. He's really OK without me." She was not talking to Spike now. She was talking to herself out loud.   
  
*I have to hear myself say this. Angel does not need me. I don't need Angel. Willow was right. I can move on now. *   
  
"Willow said I can love him forever and never have him. Or I can admit...well that I can get over it and be happy for as long as I can be. Because you know Slayers only live so long so any amount of time I have is borrowed. I mean lets face it, I may as well have two mortgage's with the time I'm living on."   
  
Buffy was pacing now the entire length of the coffee table. Spike sat back and watched her being totally aware that she was babbling to herself. Its like she forgot he was even there.   
  
"Admit what pet?"   
  
"Huh? Oh I uh...nothing. I should send a card back."   
  
Before she could get too far Spike was beside her with his arms wrapped around her tiny waist. Heat poured off of his body that swept her body with a wave of desire she was fighting to keep masked.   
  
"Buffy?"   
  
"Yes Spike?" He dipped his head in for a kiss as the door burst open and two giggling teenagers bounced their way in.   
  
"Bugger it!" Spike exclaimed as he abruptly let go of his Slayer.   
  
The giggling ceased as the two girls stared forward at the two adults that were blushing. Well, at least one of them could blush.   
  
Dawn smiled. "Hey Spike. What's in the bags?"   
  
Spike grabbed his numerous bags and headed towards the door. "Its nothing Bit. Buffy I'll talk to you later."   
  
Buffy closed her eyes when she heard the firm sound of the door shutting.   
  
Dawn stared after him, "Wow, what did we miss?"   
  
"Nothing Dawn. It was nothing. We weren't doing anything. I'm going up to bed. Willow's sleeping so keep it down ok?" Buffy picked up her shopping bags and headed upstairs to hide them.   
  
Dawn rolled her eyes as her and Janice made their way to raid the fridge.   
  
"So what's up with your sister and the mystery guy? He's kind of cute."   
  
"Oh that's just Spike. He's an old friend. He loves her but she's still hung up on this other guy she used to date. It gets complicated." Dawn sat beside her friend with a pile of bread and lunchmeats.   
  
"I think we broke up a kiss." Janice teased in a singsong voice.   
  
Dawn shrugged as she slapped mayo on her sandwich. "Probably. Just wait. I grabbed something tonight that will help." Dawn pulled out a little bag. "Its mistletoe. I know Spike won't be able to not resist making her stick to tradition."   
  
Janice giggled. "Dawn you are so bad."   
  
Dawn took a bite of her sandwich and jerked her head to the bag of CD's they had waiting for them on the counter. "I know."   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
"No way Harris I'm not doing that. Its bad enough the Slayer has me doing some of the grunt work for this holiday gathering bullshit you mortals insist is fun. I'm not doing that!"   
  
Xander sat on the coffee table in front of Spike's TV. "OK point number one you have a Christmas tree over there with stacks of gifts under it. So you have to be in the Christmas spirit. And point number two is its for Dawn."   
  
"Hey I can't see the TV!"   
  
Xander moved side to side to counter any attempt Spike made to see around him. "I'll get up if you'll do this one thing."   
  
Spike regarded him with a disgusted look. "Isn't the Bit a little old for this?"   
  
Xander shrugged. "I just know how much it meant to her when she was little. Although it pains me to admit this, she really likes you a lot. So it has to be you."   
  
Spike rolled his eyes. "Explain to me again why it has to be me?"   
  
"Because she's not going to expect it from you. I always did it. You have to do it. Giles isn't even here or I'd ask him."   
  
Spike glared at Xander with skeptical eyes. "Fine I'll do it. But just for Dawn, not cause you asked me. You know its funny how whenever something needs done its for Dawn. I just think the whole lot of you has it in for me. "   
  
Xander quickly hopped up off the table and put his hands together as if he just had a brilliant idea. "Spike you're the well you're not the best but thanks all the same."   
  
Spike toasted Xander with his bottle of wine. "You're going to owe me one Harris. Especially if Buffy has that damn camcorder running that she just bought."   
  
"Buffy bought a camcorder?"   
  
Spike laughed. "Yea she thought she'd capture the moment or some rot like that this season."   
  
Xander sighed at the vampire. "Yea well call those of us with a soul sentimental. Look I must run. Here's the stuff. Thanks again Spike."   
  
"Yea yea, get out of here, I'm missing my show."   
  
Spike stared at the contents of the box and groaned. "Stupid holiday." He rummaged around in the box and made an even more disgusted noise. "Stupid Xander asking for stupid favours and bloody stupid me for agreeing to carry out said favours."   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
Buffy had gone out on patrol every night since the almost kiss and managed to avoid Spike for 4 of those 5 nights. With her emotions a mess she thought it best she avoid him. Even though the thought of the night they shared haunted her every dream. In her dreams though candles surrounded them, while their bodies entwined in lace and satin. The more real they felt the more Buffy woke up in the morning longing for his arms to wrap around her so he could hold her forever. The day before Christmas Buffy woke up and realized she had asked the wrong vampire the wrong question. In her mind she envisioned what they would say to each other.   
  
* "How's forever? Does forever work for you?" "It always has pet." Then he'll take me In his arms kiss me and we can live happily ever after. I have to find Spike*   
  
Buffy searched all night long for Spike until finally she caught up with him at Willy's.   
  
Spike adored how she begged him to help her make cookies for Christmas Eve. He rolled his eyes, gave her a speech about how he had better things not to do and she argued back that she knew he didn't.   
  
So tonight they stayed home to bake.   
  
When Buffy realized that they needed more chocolate chips she happily grabbed the keys to the Jeep and ran to the store. Spike stayed behind to finish up what was left. Feeling pretty good about himself and the night he put on a CD and started dancing around the kitchen while he mixed cookie batter. Using the spoon as a microphone Spike did his best impression of Frank Sinatra singing "Witchcraft".   
  
This woke up Willow who came downstairs to investigate, spying the vampire she gleefully grabbed the camcorder and hit record and tip toed into the kitchen.   
  
Spike was totally unaware as he hit the high notes while placing cookies in the oven.   
  
Willow zoomed in on the huge oven mitts he was wearing and pulled the lens back to capture him twirling away from the oven. Unable to contain her giggles any longer Willow snuck back out of the kitchen, grabbed her coat and headed to Tara's house.   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
Willow knocked on the door hard. A dark haired woman opened the door with a curt smile.   
  
"Who are you?"   
  
"I'm Willow. Is Tara here?"   
  
The girl looked Willow up and down then snorted. "I guess she's here. TARA! You got company!"   
  
As Tara appeared in the doorway Willow's face lit up with a much needed and absent smile. "Tara hi. I was just out walking and I thought I'd stop by. What are you up to?"   
  
Tara closed the door behind her and stepped outside with Willow. "I'm fine. I was just studying."   
  
There was silence.   
  
*So much to say, where do I start? *   
  
Tara smiled. "I know there's a lot to say. Willow just don't say it. I'm not ready to hear it yet."   
  
"Hey, doing the mind thing. That's not too fair." Willow's voice was shaky at best. "Look Buffy's having this huge Christmas Eve party for all of us. And then on Christmas Eve we were going to eat there and do the whole gift thing. I just wanted..."   
  
Tara gave her a shy smile. "I'd love to come."   
  
Willow's bright smile altered to that of a surprised look. "You would? I mean you will? Oh do you want Spike or Xander to pick you up?"   
  
Tara shifted from one foot to the other. "I...I guess Xander is fine. Is Spike coming?"   
  
Willow let out a big pent up breath. "Oh you should see them Tara. Buffy and Spike are acting like a couple. It's sweet. She got him to help put up the tree and just before I came I saw him making cookies."   
  
"You mean she's over the whole Angel thing? Cause I mean I could tell that her and Spike have something."   
  
Willow explained quickly about the baby that in Willow's opinion is what Buffy needed. "She needed to know it was OK to love again. I tried to tell her what was right in front of her. Spike adores her and is going to be there for her. Even if he does sing while he bakes. "  
  
The girls giggled together then. It was a comfy and familiar to them to be like this. Warm feelings washed over the pair when suddenly the door came whipping open to break the moment.   
  
"Tara you are going to help finish cleaning up aren't you?"   
  
The rude girl from before stood there judging Willow with her eyes.   
  
"Yea I'll be in. Just one more minute. " The door fell shut right after they heard the girl groan at them.   
  
"Gee nice place to live."   
  
Tara looked down at her shoes. "Well no its truly horrible. But It'll do for now."   
  
Willow shoved her hands in her pockets. She didn't know what to do with them anymore. "You could always move back in with Buffy and I."   
  
Willow's eyes beheld a hope she dared not think about until tonight.   
  
Tara reached out and hugged Willow. "I know."   
  
When the girls finally broke their embrace Willow shoved her hands in her pocket and gave Tara a meek smile. "I better let you get back to what you were doing."   
  
"Yea I gotta help…." "Yea I know. I'll see you Tuesday then."   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
It was Christmas Eve and Buffy was in a flurry around the house.   
  
"Everyone should be here in an hour Willow. How does the whole thing look?" Buffy pointed to the table that was loaded with cookies, cheeses, wings, bologna, chips, pretzels and a fruitcake.   
  
Willow had just popped a Rum ball in her mouth as she mumbled her answer. "Umph fine Buhpy"   
  
"Hey Wil, those are for tonight. If you eat them all now Spike will have a fit. Those are his favorite."   
  
Willow laughed. "A vampire who like cookies? Buffy if you had normal taste in men I would think you were sick."   
  
Buffy was about to open her mouth to argue when the doorbell rang. It was Xander and Anya.   
  
Xander handed Buffy a huge fruit basket while Anya explained. "I read somewhere that it's customary to give these away. Of course no one eats the fruitcake in them Buffy, so you should just throw that part away. Or you could keep it and give it away again. I read that people do that too."   
  
Buffy gratefully accepted the basket and laughed. "Actually Anya I have one of those on the table so we can eat them. Xander likes them."   
  
Anya stared oddly at Xander who was busy exchanging hugs with Willow.   
  
"Hey Xander, going to do the Snoopy Dance tonight?"   
  
"You bet Wil. That's a tradition. Hey, has anyone seen Spike?"   
  
Buffy slumped her shoulders. "No, he was supposed to be here helping with all this food I bought but I can't get him at Willy's. They say he comes in to check his messages around now but they have not seen him. I wonder where he is?"   
  
Buffy retreated to the kitchen then.   
  
Anya sat down with Xander on his lap on the couch. "She should just have sex with him. That would help move their relationship along to the next stage. Much like ours did."   
  
Xander stared, taken aback at his fiancée. "Anya honey the visual here is making my head spin. Lets just sit here and talk about Christmas-y things. Alright?"   
  
Anya shrugged. "I was just saying."   
  
"Hey did you hear Angel had a baby?" Strange stares from the couple encouraged Willow to explain further. "I mean him and Darla. She had a baby and it's hers and Angel's."   
  
"Whoa, how is Buffy taking this?"   
  
"I guess OK. Its helped her get over the whole 'Her and Angel can never be together thing'. Actually Spike talks about it more than she does. You should see the cute stuff he bought for Conner. Maybe that's where he is. Maybe he's over at Fed-Ex sending the toys."   
  
Xander's face still held the look of shock. "I'm still on the whole vampire's having babies part. I thought that was impossible?"   
  
Anya shook her head. "No it's possible, someone wanted this baby to be born. There's always a reason even if we don't see it right away. That and the Powers have a real wonky sense of humour."   
  
Dawn came down the stairs holding a stack of gifts. "Hey guys, how long have you been here?"   
  
"Oh not that long Dawnster. What's in the pretty boxes? Anything for me?" Xander asked as he tried to peer over Anya.   
  
Dawn set them under the tree and poked her tongue out at him. "None of your business. At least not till tomorrow. Where's Buffy?" They all pointed and Dawn nodded. "Ok where's Spike?"   
  
Xander shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I don't know Dawn where Spike is. Actually neither does Buffy."   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
"Bullocks, I can't believe I let Xander talk me into this."   
  
"Oh Spike remember its for Dawn. At least that's what you told me. Besides it's amusing to me to see a vampire dressed in a Santa outfit. What a wonderful gift Spike, thank you."   
  
Spike glared at Giles keeping his eyes off the road just long enough to not see what was coming. " Its just its so uncomfortable. I should have changed in the driveway."   
  
SCREECH! BAM!   
  
"Bloody hell!" The deer belted away from the scene seemingly without a scratch, while the Desoto shut down from bumper to bumper.   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
Three hours later the gang was watching TV. Buffy sat on the couch in a moping state while she munched away on a plate of cookies. Every few minutes her friends noticed she would stare at the clock, then look back at her cookies with less of a gleam in her eye. As soon as the door rang she jumped.   
  
Willow beat her to the door. "Tara you made it. Come on in."   
  
Buffy ignored the cheery hellos that were going on in the hallway. She was more worried about where Spike was. He should have been here by now. Plus the fact that she'd called Giles 4 times today and had only had gotten the machine. *Where could he be? *  
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
"Look at my car! Stupid animal wrecked my car!" The enraged vampire pointed to the huge dent in the hood of his car. "Where am I going to find the parts to fix this? Its an antique for God sakes!"   
  
"Spike calm down. Can we still drive it?"   
  
Spike got in the fired up the beaten Desoto. It roared to life with a few sputters and less one headlight. "Jump in, I'll get us there. I don't know how much longer she's going to make it." As if to answer him the car backfired loudly, letting off a huge cloud of black smoke.   
  
"Well that was promising." Giles noted with sarcasm as they sped away.   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
"No way Will, I asked Spike to do it. His evil dead butt is going to do it."   
  
Willow shook her head. "Face it Xander, Spike's a no show. We should never have relied on him. You'll have to do it."   
  
Xander started to protest but Willow shoved a green velvet bag into his large hands. "Here, I know it'll fit. So go change."   
  
Willow gave him a stern look. "See this is my don't mess with Willow look. Go."   
  
Xander gave in, let out a huge sigh and groaned. "Alright I'll go. Spike is really going to owe me for this one."   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
Just as the Desoto bucked and backfired for the last time Spike coasted the car into the driveway. The headlights dimmed all on their own, Spike didn't even have to turn off the key. "Rest in peace ol girl."   
  
He sat there almost as though he was having a moment of silence for his car. Just as Giles was about to question it Spike hollered. " Right then, we made it in one piece. Grab the bag and lets show them what Santa Spike brought."   
  
Giles chuckled. "You do look striking in the outfit Spike."   
  
The vampire growled. "Sod off." Giles laughed yet again as the trudged up the sidewalk.   
  
Spike burst in the door with a loud "Ho Ho Ho" Just as Xander was descending the staircase.   
  
The girls gathered round Spike and Xander quickly.   
  
Dawn looked between the two of them in disbelief. "What a bunch of goofs." She whispered to Willow.   
  
"Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas. Spike moved inside then, glaring at Xander while he pretended to smile and play Santa. "Look what Santa brought."   
  
Giles came out from behind Spike and was tackled immediately with a hug from Buffy. "Giles! I've been calling you all day long. No wonder you didn't pick up the phone."   
  
Spike put an arm around Dawn and in his deepest voice he asked her. "What do you want this year from Santa little Bit?"   
  
Dawn's fit of laughter continued as Tara and Willow joined in.   
  
Anya stood with Xander who was ranting now. "He showed up. He showed up late just so I would dress up like Santa."   
  
Xander waved an accusing finger at Willow. "You did this. You made me dress like this."   
  
Tara shook her head. "No if we had known Spike was going to come through we would have zapped you down the chimney. Much more convincing that way."   
  
Willow nodded. "Yea that would have been fun. Wanna try it yet?"   
  
Anya held fast to her fiancée. "No way. He's staying right here. No zapping."   
  
Dawn finally quit laughing long enough to grab fast to Spike's fake white beard to make it snap and Spike to cry out in pain. Buffy suppressed a giggle with her hand while Xander pointed and laughed.   
  
"Finally I'm not the one being snapped with the beard this year! I just got my Christmas gift right there."   
  
Spike yanked off his beard and stuffed it inside the bag. "See the thanks I get for trying to spread a little holiday cheer?"   
  
Dawn went and hugged Spike who gave a very awkward hug in return. "Spike I stopped believing in Santa years ago. Besides, Santa would never call me Little Bit."   
  
Another scowl was sent in Xander's direction. "So you stopped believing when?"   
  
Buffy stepped beside Spike and grinned. "Spike she stopped believing when she was 10. But nice try."   
  
Spike shrugged and let out a joking sigh. "Right then. I guess these presents are just going to have to stay in the bag."   
  
Dawn started jumping up and down. "Presents!! Gimme gimme!"   
  
Giles and Buffy faded into the kitchen to make some tea while Spike and Xander played Santa in the living room.   
  
"So Spike picked you up from the airport? That's where he was all this time?"   
  
Giles nodded as he tapped his spoon against the saucer. "Yes it was. Why? You didn't think he would show?"   
  
Buffy blushed and she leaned on the counter top, looking up through her lashes at Giles. "Well I didn't think he would let me down. Then as the time got longer I started to wonder if I was wrong. And look what he did. He brought you all the way from England without a single hint that you were coming."   
  
"Oh really? He didn't mention my coming for Christmas?" Buff grinned. "Nope, total secret. I tell you if it weren't for him there is no way I would be ready to have everyone over."   
  
Giles rubbed an imaginary spot from his glasses. "I highly doubt that. Buffy you never give yourself enough credit. While I don't doubt that Spike was a help you are quite capable of handling all of this...this party stuff alone."   
  
Changing positions Buffy jumped up on the counter, swinging her legs as she talked. "No way. I was in no shape to get all this done. Spike helped me put up the tree and the lights and oh he made cookies too. I really needed his help...."   
  
As Buffy continued to talk about the past few week she grew unaware that Giles watched his Slayer with concern. There was a sparkle in her eye that made him wary.   
  
"Buffy how do you feel about Spike?" He ventured. She was babbling on so ceaselessly that he just may get a straight answer without her protest. *My lord in the car that's all I heard from Spike. Buffy said this and Buffy and I did that. Oh and Buffy likes this and that. It's maddening. So she likes vampires. I can't stop that. What I can stop is her denial. I think. *  
  
Buffy's eyes glazed over from sparkling to gleaming. Almost effulgent one would say.   
  
The phone rang snapping Buffy out of her daydream. "Who is that? Everyone is here."   
  
"Hello? Oh no you have the wrong number. No that's ok. Merry Christmas to you too."   
  
Giles watched Xander and Spike and laughed to himself. It was a vision of two Santa Clauses arguing. One was visibly a lot smaller in the belly than the other. Why they thought it would amuse Dawn was beyond his comprehension. How very Sunnydale he observed.   
  
"I can't believe you thought I'd bail on you Harris. I said I would just for the fact that you would owe me one someday."   
  
Xander shook his head. " Just because I'd owe you one? I thought it was for Dawn?"   
  
Spike gave Xander a challenging look so Xander gave up. "Look Spike being the vampire that you are and the fact that you were 3 hours late, what did you expect me to do?"   
  
Spike groaned. "Look, a deer came out of nowhere, hit the car and that's why I was late. That and picking up Watcher boy over there."   
  
Anya's ears perked up. "You hit a deer? You didn't tell us you hit a deer."   
  
The gang curiously gathered around Spike who gave them a wary look.   
  
"Was it hurt?" Tara asked.   
  
Spike shrugged. "I don't think so. Sure did ruin my car. Bugger shut down on me exactly as we got here."   
  
"So there ya go. Spike hit a deer thus making two Santa's. Aren't you a lucky one Dawn?"   
  
Dawn shook her head while she popped one of Spike's cookies in her mouth. "Yep. So who's up for a board game?"   
  
Numerous nods were given as the gang shuffled in to the dining room. Spike hung at the back of the crowd. He knew he was going to feel completely ridiculous until he took off the stupid suit.   
  
Underneath he was wearing the same purple shirt he wore the night they made love.   
  
Buffy's cheeks blushed a deep red when she realized which shirt he had on.   
  
Giles cleared his throat. "Right then, I think I heard someone call my name. I'll just leave now."   
  
Spike took a few steps towards her. "Buffy I got you something. You know for Christmas."   
  
He handed her a neatly wrapped silver package. "Its not thoughtful or much, but I thought it would look pretty on you."   
  
Buffy gently accepted the package from his hand.   
  
For a moment their fingers touched, it sent exhilarating chills through the two of them. Buffy's fingers lingered briefly over his.   
  
"Spike really you shouldn't have. I…"   
  
Spike hushed her lips with his finger. "Don't say a word pet. Just open it."   
  
Buffy smiled cheerfully as she tore open the package. Inside a delicate silver bracelet covered with amethyst and jade stones was wrapped in red tissue paper.   
  
A contented grin washed over Spike's face. He could see she was touched.   
  
"Spike its beautiful. I don't know what to say."   
  
His arms wrapped around her waist, his eyes peered directly into hers. "Tell me what I want to hear. Even if it's only for one night, pretend. I can't live in this town any longer. I can't be so close to you yet so far away. I love you and if that's not enough for you…" He paused searching for the right words. Her eyes were not giving up one ounce of feeling. "Well if its not enough I'll never know what is."   
  
* I failed. Again. Stupid Spike. What did you think she was going to be all Gone with the Wind, fall in your arms and live happily ever after? I'm such a fool! *   
  
"Will you put this on for me?" She held out the bracelet for him. Spike fumbled with the bracelet's clasp a moment till it was secured on her wrist.   
  
Buffy admired it for a minute. *Its now or never girl. Tell him how you feel. * "Spike I don't want to pretend. I just can't."   
  
Looking completely defeated Spike dropped his hands to the sides and looked at the floor. "I know. It was rude of me to ask. I'm sorry. Just let me get my stuff and I'll leave."   
  
"No Spike no. I mean I don't have to pretend. Your love, it is enough for me. I love you too."   
  
Spike jerked his head up to look at her.   
  
The astonished look on his face made Buffy smile. "Don't you believe me?"   
  
"I uh…well yea I believe you. You said that you…" Buffy closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his waist she smiled up at him. "I said I love you. If that's not enough for you then…"   
  
Spike descended on her lips with his own, tenderly at first then more passionate as the kiss deepened.   
  
Xander was the first to glance over and make a face. "Look what they are doing! Buffy, Spike, kissage! Lots of Spike and Buffy kissage actually. Here Dawn cover your eyes!"   
  
Xander put his hand over a squiggling Dawn. "No way, I want to see this. Look. I put up a mistle toe the other night and it's working."   
  
Giles smiled contentedly. "Yes we can see that Dawn. Lets just hope that this makes her happy."   
  
Tara reached down and took Willow's unsuspecting hand in hers. "I think it will."   
  
Willow smiled tenderly at Tara. "Yea I think it will."   
  
Anya popped some Chex mix in her mouth and blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. "I bet they already had sex."   
  
A chorus of "ANYA!" didn't make the ex-demon retract her statement as she just kept munching.   
  
"I don't know what gets you all so upset. You always tell me to be honest."   
  
  
~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~  
Spike stepped back to look at Buffy. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were ablaze with love and her priceless smile was one he would burn to his memory for eternity.   
  
"Penny for your thoughts luv."   
  
Buffy looked up in his amazing blue eyes and asked quietly. "How's forever? Does forever work for you?"   
  
Spike smiled down at her, kissed the top of her head lovingly and replied, "It always has pet."   
  
The End  
  
  
  
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